Are You A “Shouldy” Leader?

The most successful leaders I’ve witnessed in action have a huge dose of positivity hardwired into their attitude.  Whatever the circumstances these leaders and their teams exude a “one for all; all for one” spirit of possibility. It is a joy to behold. 

Yet, there are other leaders whom I’ll label “Should Heads” that drain their teams of confidence and commitment. Sadly, I witnessed a “Should Head” in action at a recent EOS Annual Planning Session.

2015 was a tough, tough year for this team.  Their earlier projections of profit painfully disappeared as they faced brutal, pricing competition from new industry players. The leadership team had experienced fractious turmoil as they got the “right people in the right seats.”  All in all, it was an exhausting, resource-draining year.  Their low spirit was evident in the quiet of the conference room as we began our annual EOS planning sessions.

At Annual Sessions, I customarily invite the CEO to make a few opening remarks. Wow, was I in for a surprise!  For 10 minutes this “Should Head” lectured his leadership team on what they “should” have done, whom they “should” have fired and what we “should” be doing in 2016. It was like watching a slow motion train wreck.  It was ugly.  Eyes went down as folks nervously wrote notes. His remarks were met with cold, hard silence. There was anger in the room. I’d like to say that I suggested a team exercise that restored the team’s confidence. I did not. I’d like to say a brave team member stepped up to call out this inappropriate leadership behavior. He did not.  What did happen was I called a much-needed break after the leader’s diatribe.   On break, I offered to the leader my observations. He was shocked and embarrassed.  He believed he was challenging the team to do better in ’16 with his own “shouldy” vision.  I asked him to “clean it up” with the team and he did.  He apologized and helped the team understand that, while his intentions were pure, his execution was poor.  He asked for their forgiveness.  It was amazing how this simple act of humility transformed the team’s spirit from negative anger to positive energy.  We did great work that day because we had great leadership.

Today’s questions to ponder:  What’s leadership “emotional wake” with your team?  How do they feel after you’ve left the room?  How do you want them to feel? 

What will you do to make that happen?